Member-only story
I Don’t Write Like I Talk. Thanks, Patriarchy!
Lack of confidence leaves me sounding distinctly different on “paper” than I do when expressing myself through voice
When I write, it is liberating. I get to say whatever I want to its completion without being interrupted, shamed, judged, or derailed.
I don’t have to look at the reader’s face while typing as they receive my words in real-time. I feel the freedom to express myself in a flow state.
Why do I feel like crap when I speak instead of write? To be candid, it’s because of the patriarchy. I didn’t realize this, of course, till I was in my thirties. I had no idea that my voice had been routinely suppressed and silenced my entire life. I was unaware of the implications this had on my self-esteem and self-confidence, because, well…I was just acting like most women around me.
Now I am at least awakened to the fact. I can at least face it and begin to heal. But it isn't easy.
Luckily, I love writing. I do enjoy speaking my truth, and writing has helped me understand that my truth is accepted by readers out there.
I have branched out to Instagram live videos and other modes of communication where I can’t possibly be interrupted or shamed during the expression…
