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I’m Not Afraid of the Darkness
Once you step into it, you can never fully step out.
The darkness becomes beautiful when you stop fearing it and you let it be. It has to be there. You can’t run away from it or create a world where the sun shines twenty-four hours a day. Your darkness must come to the surface part of the time.
But many people will tell you that they’re happy, tell you to keep a positive mind, and deny that darkness is a good thing. They lie and say that they’re happy — really happy. They really are convinced that it’s healthy to be “in the light” all of the time. In their minds, any darkness needs to be purged.
But out of darkness comes such beauty. Why do people refuse to see this? They are so afraid of their own darkness that they won’t let themselves see the beauty within. They actually stave off depression by struggling to keep things together in their lives and keep busy. They make themselves into zombies in order to avoid darkness.
It’s ironic, but they pretend to be happy in order to keep from being unhappy.
But this isn’t about other people. I have no idea what’s really going through the minds of other people. I very much hope that everyone has an existential dilemma or crisis every now and then, but who really knows? Do “normal” people ever stop to wonder why?
Once you’ve reached the depths of your own soul in all of its sadness and heaviness, you can learn to see its beauty.
It is beautiful because of the contrast between light and dark. But the darkness has its own beauty, too. It is calm, still, heavy, cold, and somehow comforting. In its hopelessness, it is comforting as it promises nothing and presents no more opportunities to be hurt. It’s just rock bottom — where dead dreams dwell.
It’s a safe place to explore the darkest thoughts where there can be no hope. It does not push you to do things, make decisions, or move around at all. You can sit motionless with it. It allows you to think clearly about why you would move back toward the light — which is inevitable. It presents no illusions. It is simply dark. The simplicity is beautiful.
