One of my latest karmic cycles that I am working to graduate from is the tendency to be a people pleaser. I have found that I have a sense of loyalty for others that isn’t always reciprocated. There are people who would call me their friend but would drop me in a heartbeat if it was convenient for them. I’m learning that often, the problem lies in myself.
I am not yet able to recognize in myself the fact that I don’t have to be friends with everyone. I don’t have to please everyone.
As a spiritual person, I try to embody love and compassion more and more to the best of my ability. Sometimes that is a challenge when it seems that there are a lot of self-serving people in the world. But then sometimes people enter my life who appear to be friendly and loving toward me — only to find out later that in fact, they are often (sometimes unintentionally) in need of something from me. They’re just seeking my attention and energy. When I don’t produce the object of their desires, their attentions wane. They show me the level of respect that they truly had for me all along.
I’ll be honest, I am writing this after a few months during which a short series of people I thought were friends just blocked me out of the blue. No reason was given. And they think it’s fine to excommunicate someone quickly this way. Cutting me off with no warning is somehow acceptable in their world.
Although everything happens for a reason and the universe is probably protecting me from further hurt, I have to stop and wonder why people don’t treat me with the level of respect that I show to them.
Of course, you could argue that this behavior says more about them than it does about me. But I always take everything as meaningful, especially if it’s showing up in a pattern in my life. I have somehow attracted this behavior and I need to understand why. I want to break the pattern.
The basic answer here for me (and for everyone) is that we simply must stop being people pleasers. But this is much easier said than done. When you’re so used to…