Member-only story
It’s Really Annoying Being Sad
Grief is awful, it changes your life, and no one gets it.
I’ve been sad recently. Grieving is awful. The pain is ridiculous. I am ridiculous at times. Thinking back on the last six months of my life since the great loss of someone so dear occurred, I see it sometimes as a really terrible movie. Everything feels like a dream. The plot feels awful. Hope seems to be lost for this protagonist.
I figured I’d write all of this down for whoever is out there reading that can relate. People seem to find it healing to read my rants about depression. So, here you go, world!
Almost six months have passed since I experienced the loss and death of someone I thought was the love of my life. I thought it was the beginning of the greatest miracle of a lifetime and we’d have many years together. Like, forever. But we had only a few months together.
Now the initial trauma has worn off. I used to think of him and be shocked over and over that he is gone, every single time. It was hard to grasp that simple concept — that he is dead. Now, I am mostly just sad but without the searing pain of realizing his life is over. I see things more clearly now. Some days, I am legitimately happy about my life and I embrace hope.
