Just About Done With Being Human

It’s a struggle.

We know about the human collective from various sources of media. We know their version of what’s going on in the world — of what other humans are doing right now. What the media never seems to show is people in their thirties and forties in developed countries who are barely able to survive. We fight for existence and it becomes weary. I stop once a day lately and tell myself, “I’m just about done with this shit.”

As a spiritually aware person, I know that I have to stay positive and believe the world is good in order for it to become that way. I am trying. And I wonder if I'm attracting people into my life who are down on their luck. All of my friends are struggling financially, then they develop anxiety and depression because they can’t function as a human and they seem to have no purpose here. Society likes people to pay into the medical system in this case, so a doctor prescribes mind-numbing pills for them, and sends them back into the matrix.

They’re drowning and the system keeps them above water only enough to make sure they stay functional, but not happy. Maybe there is a whole other set of humans I should be surrounding myself with who are successful, never worry about anything, and have manifested their dreams? If so, is the universe testing me or something by only giving me the ones who are struggling?

I want to help them, and I do what I can. When I question any part of the system (college, jobs, medicine, pharmaceuticals, politics) I am sneered at. I can’t help people without breaking the system. It’s depressing. And then it just ends up taking a toll on me and my own mental health because I feel helpless.

This can’t be all there is to life. There simply has to be more. Incarnating as a human had to have some kind of purpose beyond this drudgery. Will I reach the end of my life, ascend to the heavens, and promptly find out from my life review that I could have turned it all around and I was preventing myself from happiness? Will I find that I wasted it all? This is my greatest fear.

My friends are barely making it financially. What the media, politicians, and companies don’t tell you is that nobody makes a salary that they can actually live on anymore. These people are high-level in their jobs…