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Fiction | Consciousness
The Hole in the Basement Closet
A tale of existential uncertainty
I have two cats, both named Jihan.
Actually, they don’t belong to me, but they hang around and adhere to some game of loyalty expected between human and cat. And I hate cats. Maybe the Jihans hate me, too, but that’s fine.
They showed up when their previous owners gave up on them. They were bad cats.
“One time I ran away from home for three days without calling. I slept in a log next to a dirty apartment building and drank water from the puddles in front of the library.” That’s the story Grey Jihan once told me, with no regrets, sitting tall in reflection in my swivel chair by the desk. “I told myself I wouldn’t go home until I knew the reason I’m alive.”
White Jihan once was so depressed that he refused to eat for two days and never left the rug by the window. “I scratched my owner when she pissed me off once and she threatened to kick me out for good,” he said in vague self-pity. Anyway, that’s the story he told me a while back.
I don’t trust these cats’ stories but they sure are fantastic. I especially don’t believe White Jihan. I think he was trying to make himself sick to get revenge. That’s his game.
The last straw for their former owners was when they both committed the monumentally unforgivable crime for a cat: not catching mice. They were a cat owners’ legitimate disappointment. But I don’t see cats the same way…so, I allowed them to move in here with myself and Oksu, my dog.
I laugh to think about it. Keeping a feline as a pet! Silly notion. Imagine the stupidity it takes to believe that you can own a creature that’s smarter than you!
I don’t know if it’s because I’m a woman or because I’m not a cat or whatever, but these cats can never fully respect me. Their occupancy here was going well for the first two weeks. But last week I yelled at them for disappearing in the house because I thought it was dangerous for them. There are things in this house beyond their comprehension — not just things that can hurt them physically. I know they like to test limits, but they might end up going too far and, for…
