This resonates so much with me, sadly, and although my ex may not have been trying to kill me (honestly I think he would have loved to watch me sick, he derived pleasure from watching me suffer I realized at the end), I feel so much of the other things you said here, like how people who say they love us also hurt us. I don’t get it either. But I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and I think we have to just see them as scared, senseless children. Because they are.