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What To Do When the Darkness Calls
It’s a choice whether to go through that door.
I went through hell a few years ago. I’ve come a long way since then. My memories of the trauma are no longer what scare me. What really freaks me out is the memory of my own darkness.
Nowadays, I can handle the absurdity of life’s tragedies in the “outside” world, but I can’t handle the threat of going back to that dark place within me. I know how easily it can swallow me up. It often feels like I don’t have control over it. But, of course, I must if it’s part of me.
Once in a while, the darkness pokes at me. You see, I generally have good days now. The light is shining again, illuminating me with the grace of divine love. I am happy to be here. Oh, but how easily this can all be replaced by the darkness! Dark thoughts creep up and jump out at me from the shadows. It seems like all the light in the world could be lost in the blink of an eye if I’m not careful. I must resist with all my willpower so that I can stay joyful.
Depression, for me, is horrifying. The despair, hopelessness, and loss of meaning is something I never want to feel again. Perhaps it is scarier than death, physical loss, and pain. My inner world’s possibilities are more terrifying than the events that could happen in the world around me. I hope you never have…
