You weren't bad and you didn't deserve it. It is just the way of life. These are judgments of a situation. I am so sorry that you can't interpret my word to the meaning they have, but you aren't being told to be silent or to endure anything you don't want to. You have free will. You are bale to choose your path and the past is the past, but the future is open to new things and new cycles. That's what I meant. Much love to you.